whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
