i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize