he was CRYING into my vagina
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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