The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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