oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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