well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
