Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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