Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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