The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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