dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize