I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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