Screwed.edu
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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