Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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