question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
