They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
