the new term for farting is butt boxing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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