P.S. I can't hear my feet
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
