PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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