i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
