he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
