I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
