I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
