i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
