im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Randomize
