Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize