Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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