morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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