I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
