i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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