I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
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But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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