Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
