Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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