im drinking this country out of the recession.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
