When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
