I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
