I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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