Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
