nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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