god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize