There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My bed smells like the plague
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