can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
