they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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