if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
