I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
