Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
