You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
