see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
