Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize