Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
