My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just found a bag of teeth...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
is it fun? or sober?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
