I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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