paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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