can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
