I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
