If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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