I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
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I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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