so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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