My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
