I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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