I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
