Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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